Sitting on a rock, watching waves crash at her feet, she wondered about the people she had loved in all of her 42 years of life. They were so lucky, she mused. They were so lucky to have been loved the way she loved. Without pretence, not an ounce of ego, going all in, in for the long haul. How absolutely lucky. To have experienced the kind of love only few ever get to live through. She felt a giggle come up, burdened with a touch of sadness.
She wished someone had loved her that way too. With absolute abandon and complete acceptance. Someone who was willing to swallow the bitter pills of ego and selfishness for her. Someone who was devoted, and willing to forgive her flaws, even when she didn’t seek forgiveness. Someone…
Taking a deep breath, she stood up carefully, took in the view one more time, and starting walking back towards the car.
He was waiting for her in the car. She looked far away, and he smiled with content. He knew she needed a few minutes to herself. He also knew that she would want to sit alone for a while, looking out at the sea. While she looked for a shawl in the trunk to wrap around her shoulders, he had wiped a rock clean for her to sit on and pushed to the side big rocks on the path to the water, before returning back to the car. Quietly.
He sat in the car, patiently waiting, thinking about her. Her smile, her eyes, her hands that were always too cold. He knew her scars, which she had reluctantly revealed, slowly, over many years. He understood her pain, and made every effort to bring joy to her life daily. He knew she loved him, but hers was a broken heart, and it just wasn’t the same kind of love. But it was enough for him. He found pockets of joy, and that was enough for him. Her smile was enough. No amount of righteousness was worth hurting her. She was his sunshine, and she was enough.
She opened the door, looked up, gave him a weak smile as she fastened her seat belt. ‘I wish someone loved me the way I love…’ was still on her mind.
He took her hand in his, and drove home.