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Cherry Cross

by Shaheen Rajan

I got death on my mind.

Posted on 2nd October 20202nd October 2020 by Shaheen Rajan
I got death on my mind.
Posted In Personal Essays

I am shook. I just learnt that I lost my nana, dadu and mamu all in the same year, the year I got married, and I am beyond astonished as Continue Reading

Cherry Cross

by Shaheen Rajan

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I am Shaheen.

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thecherrycross

thecherrycross
LILIES She woke up with a start. It felt like a b LILIES She woke up with a start. It felt like a big, heavy object was tumbling down the stairs, picking up pace, thudding louder with every unfortunate bump. She flew out of her bed, her frothy petticoats struggling to keep up, swaying wildly. She ran towards the spiraling staircase, preparing herself for the worse, prepared to take on an unforeseen loss. "Maybe it's that chandelier. It had been making strange noises all of last week," she murmured, only half convinced. In her heart of hearts, she knew what it was. She was expecting it. It was actually on time, the quivering voice inside her head whispered. Her steps got heavier as she neared the site of destruction. It became harder to pick up one foot after another. It felt like every move added shackles that weighed a ton. She dragged her feet, tried ignoring the racing heartbeat, and took the turn. The one that led to that room. That room with the staircase. She froze. The grandfather's clock on the wall struck 2. She could swear her heart had also stopped in that moment. Everything was still. Other than her eyes. They had a life of their own. While nothing dared to move, they turned rebel. They stung, filled with tears, unable to see anymore. It was lilies. White lilies. Sprawled from second to the seventeeth step. Some bunched together, holding on to each other, while others had lost the battle. There they were. Lilies. White lilies. Pure. All but one. The one that had brought upon the crash. The one with scarlet stains.. #wordprompt #writersofinstagram #berlinblogger #pakistanigirlingermany #words #storytime
What you don’t change, you choose. (Now read tha What you don’t change, you choose. (Now read that again, but slowly). Happy weekend folk(ses) 🌟 #berlinblogger #details #thingsthatmakeyougohmm
It takes 21 days to adopt a new habit and 40 days It takes 21 days to adopt a new habit and 40 days to rewire your system. We evolve and adapt faster than we realise. So it is only fair that when we get out of this pandemic, we won't be the same people that we were when it all began. Have you recently surprised yourself with your own reaction or choices? I have. I feel that there has been a shift, and we are making choices that maybe we wouldn't have two years ago. I am not saying they are definitely better or worse, just different. It can get confusing, this change, but trust the process. Life as we knew it changed drastically. Nothing is as it used to be. Relationships have either strengthened or crumbled. There have been new stressors introduced and more people are going out for walks in their neighbourhood than ever before. Social anxiety has baffled extroverts. Work from home has made it possible for some expats to go back home for longer than 3 weeks and still keep their jobs. Some have fled their country of residence for cleaner pastures and others have moved into new apartments, building kitchens one shelf at a time. There has been so much loss in these 14 months - 3.12 million people. How could you and I remain the same? You have gone through a lot this year. So if your choices and responses are unlike what you expect from yourself, still, be kind. Situations and circumstances change you, sometimes at molecular level, so you might have to get to know yourself again, acknowledging newfound strengths and accepting recently realised weaknesses. Try to leash in the frustrations by being kind to yourself. Kind and understanding. 👗 RTW @nishatlinen #writersofinstagram #berlinblogger #bekindtoyourself #pakistanigirlingermany #thingsthatmakeyougohmm
I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing w I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you - unknown #trusttheprocess #ibelieveicanfly #keepgoing #yougottaeatthis #motivation #femaleentrepreneur #plussizefashion #shoesoftheday #khussas #girlswithbigfeet
Ager akal dene se aati hoti na, tou har koi sayana Ager akal dene se aati hoti na, tou har koi sayana hota. I am not a morning person, yet in the last one week, I got twice out of bed, early in the morning - once after having slept for about 3 hours. Yet I was out, and at the doctors. It was because I had recently noticed that my resting heart rate was much higher than it should be. So out I was, keeping my early morning appointments. One of which included a blood test. I had been "planning" on taking this test for last 4 months. Ideally, we'd like to rush it. The learning phase. The getting wiser period. More than us, our parents want to rush it - give us all the wisdom to make it. Survive. Thrive. To not be swallowed by the big bad world. But you know what - unlike material possessions, you can't pass on wisdom. It is truly the receiver's prerogative. Some may be more receptive than others, but you, as an individual, cannot make another wiser just by sharing your life's learning. By issuing loud warnings. They have to be ready, somewhat yearning for that knowledge, to be able to actually absorb and make use of their newly acquired inheritance. You cannot make them. No number of cautionary tales will ever work on someone bent upon to experience the fall. So don't be frustrated or beat yourself when a loved one doesn't seem to 'get it'. Especially if you are a parent. Trust the process. Know that they will eventually learn; they would have to. Life is not always very generous with choices. When it's their time, to experience and earn the wisdom, they will understand. And when they do, just be there for them, WITHOUT the 'I told you so'. #adayinmylife #berlinblogger #pakistanigirlingermany #kaamkibaat #writersofinstagram #inheritingwisdom
A couple of weeks ago, I met a recently wedded wom A couple of weeks ago, I met a recently wedded woman in one of the small towns in interior Sindh, who's husband I was in business with. He invited me into his home, and introduced me to his wife. Knowing that I was into handicrafts, she took me to her bedroom and showed me clothes from her trousseau that she had embroidered herself, using gold and silver thread. A girl of about 21, who had met me for the first time, and spoke little to no Urdu, allowed me into her personal life and showed me snippets from her wedding. The pride she had, the excitement in her voice, the zest - it was both humbling and enlightening. Often we assume that women in rural parts of Pakistan are somehow ‘underprivileged’. Oppressed even. They do not have access to opportunities and resources that women in cities do, and are often trapped in clutches of stifling traditions and customs. All of it may be true for some, yet they make the best of their situation and find a way to make it work. Find peace and purpose within constraints. I am not justifying their circumstance or choices, most of which are made for them. What I want to focus on is their resilience and choosing to remain productive. Positive. Honing their craft. Creating apparels so beautiful that it would make your heart sing. “For embroidery like this, there is no sketch or stencil. I do it all on my own. If I were to recreate it, it will never be the exact same embroidery” she told me. I will never forget that pride. The sound of her voice. The confidence in it. The experience of meeting artisans and their stories will forever stay with me. I learnt so much, both about craft as well as life. A life very different from my own, with contrasting circumstances and outlook on life. But what we shared was passion for crafts, appreciation for beautiful traditions and handmade treasures, and an unspoken sisterhood. QOTD: Should I share more stories from the trip*? The trip I am referring to is the one I took for @buntemarkhor to meet artisans in interior Sindh. The trip was also while I was off social media. #adayinmylife #berlinblogger #buntemarkhor #pakistanigirlingermany #storytime #writersofinstagram #artisansofpakistan
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