This year, things will be a little different on Eid than yesteryears. We have a pandemic at our hands, no vaccine in sights, health workers are struggling under pressure and risking their lives for our health, and recession has already hit most developed economies (developing and under-developed are worst hit, of course). So this year around, let’s do Eid a little differently. Here are 10 Commandments for Eid in times of Corona, brought to you by…me (duh-doy):
1. Shopping shall only be done online. Exclusively.
2. Wearing something from your wardrobe instead of buying something new is AQALMAMDI. Remember, financial frugality is your friend. You have spent enough time on Instagram and have seen enough styling videos. You can do this!
3. There needs to be some meetha on Eid. You have also seen enough cooking videos on Instagram to make your own rasgulas. Or maybe a banana bread?
4. If the thought of making rasgulas at home made you cry, I am sorry. Tons of places are delivering at home. Order for it to be delivered two days in advance. It’s okay Pooja, you don’t have to make rasgulas. You are a rasgula 😘
5. Special Eid Namaz is organised in your respective lounges, jaha usually sirf mehman jaate hai. On this auspicious day, you are also allowed entry. Kya yaad rakhoge thakur!
6. Dress up, with jhumke and churiyaan, so you can Facetime with your friends and family and bantofy tareefein. I know you want it *Pitbul ki awaaz mai*
7. Eidi is still valid. Bank transfer, western union, PayPal and transfer wise will all act as phool wale envelopes.
8. Make chicken biryani with zarda, aur koi pooche ‘Eid hai kya’ tou kehna..
9. This is going to be an extra special Eid because no unsolicited advices or taane from asteen mai paale hue saanp. Or aunties you can’t avoid because your amma might have aged but her ghuuri is still jawan.
10. Remember that your Creator has listed human rights above his own, and jeopardising someone’s life by meeting, hugging and dawat-ing is a violation of it. So stay in*, avoid gathering, and know that you are right to decline invitations. Also, all the biryani that you made is now just for you. Koi hisseddar ya aloo chor nai.
*staying in can mean different things to different people, so follow your government’s instructions. In Berlin, upto two families can meet. Baaqi apna apna ap sab khud dekh lein. Shukreya.