Episode 4/8 – Emotional turmoil that costed me 14lbs

When you feel as dark and dreary on the inside as it is on the outside.

Like many of you, I am an emotional eater. Happy? Eat. Sad? Eat. Devastated? Eat. Just eat, for there are plenty of reasons. Food has been my soul sister; it has been there when no one was.

My last visit at the doctor disciplined me for all of 24 hours. It was November of 2015; work was busy, and I had some pretty big decisions to take. I was contemplating the big move and it had me out of my element. I was alone in Dubai, and that didn’t help much.

December rolled in, and turned into a month right out of my nightmares. My personal life was a mess, I had finally decided to move to a foreign land and leave the place that had become home. I was an emotional wreck, and for the first time in 27 years, I was averse to food. The mere thought made me nauseous, and all of last two weeks of 2015, I survived on a fruit here and there, or cuppa noodles. I also started smoking.

The nightmare lasted for a couple of weeks, where I involuntarily lost 10lbs, and then a friend from Pakistan visited me. She somewhat helped me out of the emotional pit that I had voluntarily pushed myself in. I felt a bit like myself, and she went home, leaving me in the capable hands of Mother India.

We were in 2016 by then, and my time was devoured by packing and finishing off work. I was leaving Dubai, in hopes of finding a place I can call home in Germany. It was a crazy time, and left a very small window for me to tend to my disheveled emotions. I was eating better than before, and had started walking and sprinting to let off some steam. I was rewarded with another 4lbs drop, before I boarded a plane to the home of BMW.

In about 6 weeks, I lost 14lbs, but I wouldn’t recommend anyone to go down this route. None of it was planned, and if someone asked me to choose between that nightmare and 14lbs, I would happily take the pounds.

If there is one thing that I learnt from those weeks, it’s that eating has a significant impact on my overall well-being. When I am not eating right, it shows; my eyes take the hit first, and I am edgy at all times.

Anyway. It’s January 2016. I am down 25lbs, thanks to Glucophage, emotional hurricane and challenging new beginnings. I was now adapting to the German lifestyle and started counting calories. Also, seeing a young woman jog out in the open, when it was 3°C and raining continuously, while I was surrounded by fries and burgers, did something to my appetite.

More on this in the next episode cherries. Thank you for being with me on this, and your kind words of appreciation. As usual, I am here to answer any questions you might have via email. Drop in a line at shaheen@cherrycross.com if writing below makes you uncomfortable.



(P.S. I am sorry for posting this a day late. It took me a while to wrap my head around this episode, before I could pen it down.)

About Shaheen Rajan 1355 Articles
Need coffee, romance, fashion and manicure to survive. KHI - DXB - CGN


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