*Blank screen stares at me, beckoning to transfer my thoughts to black and white*
We live a life that is a continuous ride; one chapter ends and the other begins, a man walks out and eventually someone else comes in, you gain weight and then you shed it. We move on from one journey to another, and the old wise men always recommend to firmly close a door before opening the other.
But if it is all continuous, does a chapter really end before we get started with the one after?
The ongoing nature of affairs led me to think about it – about love and the special people in our lives. A dear friend of mine went through a nasty break-up, with endless tears, screaming matches and utter disdain; and then this other fella came along, who knew just what she needed. She craved for comforting words and he wrote velvety letter, she needed to be taken care of and he would send her warm shawls on chilly nights, he made her laugh till her stomach would be in knots and above all, he would listen to her moan about her ex with exemplary patience (although you could easily tell that she was still very much in love with him, and was rebounding).
There wasn’t an obvious transition, there were feelings (albeit distinct) for both men, simultaneously; one chapter was still lingering on before the other began. Was it wrong? Was it why the new relationship was eventually blown into smithereens? Does it explain why the latter relationship was only about now and never the future?
I believe that you don’t really close a chapter. It might become a forgotten story or a hazy memory, but it is still a part of who you are, and how you respond to people and situations throughout your life. We all carry baggage, and that shouldn’t make us ashamed of living a colourful life. It is experiences, memories, emotions and lessons that belong to you, and I wouldn’t want to change a hell lot of my earlier years, however painful and mortifying some of them have been.
Many people insist on leaving the baggage behind, but that is such an unreasonable demand, don’t you think? How can you forget the many firsts, the days you smiled for no reason and the nights you cried yourself to sleep? I can’t imagine doing it. Some advocate this for they fear it will shadow the present and future, and while it is largely true, it doesn’t have to.
The idea is to draw a line – it is one thing to confine a person or an incident to memory and another altogether to allow it to sway your emotions in present day and time. I am not saying it’s easy. It’s quiet a challenge (ask me, I have made a fool of myself more times that I would like to admit). But there is something that can help you strike that balance – your best friend. S/he will remind you of facts when you cook up dreamy tales, and knock some sense into you. They will also push you to experience and love again when you are beat, disappointed and heartbroken. I can vouch for it, as mine has been there every time I took a fall or was on cloud nine.
So, here’s to past, present, best friends and you, who read all the way to the end – Cheers!