All By Yourself

I have always fancied living on my own. It equated freedom and thrill for me. When my best friend moved to another city for university, I envied her life; I even went to visit her to see whether it was really as cool as I thought it is, or my imagination has just ran wild. It was cool, and then some more. They could hang out with their guitars and smokes at 3AM, and talk about all things profound or giggle over some girly nonsense, without any sense of time or space; it was all a continuous ride and people were living their lives at all hours.

I got to live my dream independence when I moved to Dubai. N was travelling for work and I had the entire house to myself. I was new in the city and there was so much to explore, so many people to befriend and so many experiences to be had. It was all glitter and gory, and I had a great time. However, I missed my man sorely at home, so I stayed out as much as I could. It wasn’t perfect but I got by just fine.

Fast forward two years and the charm is replaced with humdrum routine life. Every time that I am by myself for more than two weeks, the silence gets deafening. You miss coming home to someone, or being there when your person comes homes. You miss kissing someone goodbye every time you leave. I surely miss home cooked food as I can’t be bothered to cook for only one person – myself. And there are many such small details that we overlook during the daily grind, but find them smirking at us in times of solo performances. It certainly takes two to tango.

Don’t get me wrong – it isn’t exactly a nightmare. It’s exhilarating to live like a shameless mess because none will trip over your shoes or wonder why is 50% of your bed crowded with ‘stuff’. If I can be bothered to get out of my PJs, there is always something happening around the city and I can entertain myself until wee hours. Everyday.

But I miss N, and hope to see him real soon. Please send a little prayer up there that I do, soon. And all those single ladies, when the man is right, it will be worth giving up that precious space in your closet for him. And who knows, he might even get you a bigger closet because he loves you so very much (remember how Big got Carrie that shoe-closet women all over the world still drool over?).

At the cost of repeating myself, it takes two to tango this life. So, cherish the love and enjoy while you can.

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