In a world filled with false eyelashes, push-up bras, fake nails, fake tans and (at the risk of being hated by women everywhere) Spanx, are we really just creating an “imaginary” self? A mirage if you will — a false image of ourselves that we are presenting to the world as fact.

Everyone likes to look good but have we crossed a line into deception that may not easily be uncrossed? It has always seemed odd to me to elongate our nails and lashes while tucking in our tummies and lifting our breasts with the end game being… what? Sex? Well, most people do that naked. In which case, there will be no hiding behind Spanx or being pushed up by a “miraculous” bra. All the smoke in mirrors will come to a screeching halt.That is when the feelings of betrayal kick in — and rightfully so!

In marketing, this would be considered false advertising. Things were not as they appeared. Does that make the person who finally discovered these undeniable truths a jerk if they walk away? Maybe. However, you did deceive them and they have a right to be upset. Some women think their feminine wiles will be enough to distract their mate from their dishonesty and perhaps that will be the case but it doesn’t really take away from the trickery you used to get them there. They know they’ve been suckered. They may be willing to accept it but they are likely not happy about the situation. Their unhappiness most often does not stem from your lack of perfection but rather your lack of honesty and confidence.There is nothing sexier than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin! No one is perfect and no one expects you to be. It is far stranger to be with someone that you are afraid to touch for fear of messing up their hair or makeup. Who wants to date a walking museum? Any boyfriend I have ever had has always preferred the way I look first thing in the morning, no makeup on, looking like (what I would consider) a hot mess. It may not always be pretty but it is real and it is important to know that what you see is what you get. You’re not fooling anyone. If you’re proud to be you, they’ll be proud to be with you!

Written by Sidney Anne Stone