I was born a romantic, before reality ruined me.

I believed in walks under the moonlight, flowers and chocolates, holding hands, barring your soul, sharing it all and be accepted, loved above all, etc etc.

And then, life happened.

It taught me that when you start a relationship, it’s “romantic” for first few months – what if often cited as the honeymoon period. Then, the flame will waver in other directions and eventually, it will die. Things like work and you will supersede romance and togetherness.

And you know what? The pain will be a $(#瞬间.

I learnt it the hard way. I gave it all, pulled down all guards, loved and shared unconditionally, and made a human my ‘habit’. I needed him to be happy. It was like a drug. I couldn’t do without it.

Before I was forced to withdraw. My person wanted space, time and a break to focus on his career. I tried to accommodate, but failed. And then, I had no choice. It was gone. He was gone. I was forced to deal with stabbing loneliness, uncontrollable tears and a void. The scar was too deep. The betrayal, as I saw it, irrevocable.

And then, I decided to let go; let go of my wants and needs. I wouldn’t expect anything – texts, calls, flowers, gifts, support, love. It looked dreary but at least it would be constant, won’t let down and is safe.

I have found my own place; it’s called Black Haven.