1. Multitasking is a foreign word to them. If they just change the kitty litter, they need a beer, then a nap.
2. Their idea of cleaning the house involves wiping their feet on the doormat.
3. They don’t get why you need to talk on the phone for so long with your mom/sister/best friend/all of the above. Especially since you did it last night, too.
4. They love gossip just as much as you do. Two words: Charlie Sheen.
5. Their hearing is perfectly fine. Their listening skills? Not so much.
6. They will never get excited about the new shower curtain. Unless you’re behind it, naked.
7. When they take out the trash, they need to announce it. Every time.
8. They always go for the biggest slice of pizza in the box.
9. When they get sick, they’re sure no one has ever been sicker. Every cold is the flu, every headache a migraine, every pain a life-threatening condition. They need sleep, soup, love—and the remote, please.
10. Few realize that the toilet seat can actually be put in the down position.