As Valentine’s Day approaches, men all over the world will scramble to pick up beautiful bouquets of flowers for the women in their lives – or the women they hope to have in their lives. But, what’s the big deal with flowers?
Why Men Give Flowers
1. They represent beauty. Perhaps he is saying, “Here’s something beautiful for a beautiful person,” or he’s making a visual commentary on a beautiful relationship.
2. They represent sexuality. It seems a bit weird, but flowers are basically plant reproductive organs. Is there some subconscious reason that we give reproductive organs to someone we love … and would maybe some day reproduce with?
3. Our mothers told us to. A “well-trained” guy knows the cultural significance of flowers in romance.
What His Flowers Really Mean
Chances are good he has no clue what the bouquet he’s getting you actually means, but if he’s done his research into the type of flowers he’s handing over, let this serve as your translation manual.
Red Roses
Represents: true love
Says: “I love you.”
Also Says: “I’m not very creative and didn’t put much, if any, thought into this buying decision.”
Striped Carnations
Represents: refusal
Says: “I can’t be with you, but I’m going through the trouble of locating and buying striped carnations to say that.”
Represents: purity, lofty thoughts
Says: “I’m not going to put out.”
Burgundy Roses
Represents: unconscious beauty
Says: “I can’t see your beauty. Because it’s underneath the surface. Beauty is only skin deep. You have inner beauty? Er, I like watching you sleep.”
Represents: innocence, loyal love, and faith
Says: “These are delicate with a hint of spontaneity, just like you.”
Represents: shame and bashfulness
Says: “I cheated on you.”
Represents: suspicion
Says: “I bet you’re cheating on me, but we can agree that these flowers smell damn good.”
Yellow Tulips
Represents: hopeless love
Says: “Please, please, please, please be with me. Please.”
Bird’s-Foot Trefoil
Represents: revenge
Says: “You’ll pay for these flowers.”
Represents: refined beauty
Says: “I am either pretentious or trying really hard to be.”
Yellow Poppies
Represents: wealth and success
Says: “I love you for your money.”
Pink Carnations
Represents: a mother’s love
Says: “No, I don’t have Oedipus Complex, but, yes, these flowers should have gone to Mom.”
Represents: lust
Says: “I only want you for sex, so can I actually hold onto these? My Thai chicken recipe calls for ground coriander.”
Yellow Roses
Represents: joy, friendship, apology, jealousy, dying love, infidelity, and heartbreak
Says: “I have no idea what I’m trying to say.”
How Often Men Should Give Flowers
Guys shouldn’t give flowers too often or too infrequently. Don’t bust out a bouquet only when you’re in a fight, and don’t give them every week. Keep it spontaneous, make every flower occasion special – unless you’re giving someone coriander because that’s just not vase-worthy.