Office romances were the “in” thing last season and this season we have broken hearts closeted together due to professionals demands. It’s not easy to face your ex on a regular basis, let alone forced to interact and be pleasant. If you were the one to do the honours of walking you, the forceful meeting would send you frequently on a notorious guilt trip and if you were at the receiving end, you would feel close to arthritis due to clenching your fists permanently. But with recession and frightening lay offs, you can’t even afford to indulge yourself by quitting. So now that you’re stuck between dark blue sea and a cliff, is suffering the only option? Hell no! Let’s strategise!
Isn’t it enough that every time you pass by, people whisper unintelligible comments and sigh ‘poor her’ that now you have to put up with the mere aura of your ex as well? Well, we totally empathise but before you slack off to self-pity, keep your gear in place and remember the magical word: Strategise. It’s crucial that you keep both your tears and anguish at bay. If you can’t take a week off from work to get a grip, then it is better that you learn to cope sooner instead of later. Remember that even if your ex-sunshine isn’t as emotionally disheveled as you, he/she definitely isn’t spared. Derive some satisfaction from this petty detail and initiate. If you work in a very close proximity with the other, don’t even think of completely ignoring the other. It will only magnify the situation in the dark light and you can spare yourself from the melodrama as well. Be polite, congenial but do not waste a smile (even a fake one!), no matter what. Also, we understand how you might hate dressing up now that you have so many bigger things to handle, don’t appear to work looking like a train wreck. The toll on your mental and physical well-being should be your secret, and you’re above anyone’s pity. Another important thing you need to keep in mind is that you need to let go, which means no feelings. And anger is a very strong feeling. So once your tears dry out and you are done with feeling sorry for yourself, anger will be twitching by then to steal the limelight. Don’t let it.
Mutual friends, whom you considered a blessing while the flame was good and burning, will suddenly become deplorable, Some would be take sides, some would remind you to feel sorry for yourself and hate the other-as if you don’t already. Don’t be irrational and strike back. You need them right now. They’ll be your secret weapon to fight insecurities. You can bask in glory while they tirelessly list down how horrible the other person is. While all these things are your homework, the difficult part would be when you come face-to-face. Remember the Don’ts: Don’t beg, don’t expect apologies, don’t reveal too much and DON’T talk about past. Now the do’s: do be polite, do have light conversation and do focus on task at hand, and most importantly do scurry away as soon as possible for initially, too much time spent together would rub salt in the wound.
Closed the Door…
Guilt. Ever wondered what colour can denote guilt? Brown, maybe. If you weren’t forced to endure those venomous looks every second, you might be able to move on but lady luck isn’t courting you anymore, so my love, endure. It is not like you are not hurting or you weren’t besotted by the other, it is just that you had reached the end of your rope and it was time for you to travel alone. But now you have fingers pointing at you, faces frowning and never-ending blames and accusations. It’s difficult but not the end of the world. The first thing you need to do is forgive yourself. Believe in your reasons and stand firm against the shoves to guilt. You did what you had to do. So when you come across the other under professional confines, be just that: professional. Be gentle and keep a check on your manners. Most of the rules earlier stated apply to you as well, the addition being always on guard to protect yourself from self-inflicted guilt.
It is a proven fact that once you have spent quality time with someone for a time period, you can’t completely erase that person from your memory. Also, love hurts sometimes and no one can change that. When it comes to emotions on occupational surface, complications are the frills attached to it. And when it ends, it is bound to leave some ugly mess behind it. Grasp on to professionalism and to a great extent, it will be your saviour. For the rest, use the above guide for sustenance.