18th November 2017

My 50 paisa on the ‘Chai Wala’ outbreak

This is me, succumbing to peer pressure. And a husband with kickass humour, who refuses to let me get away from participating in trending ‘discussions’. He just convinced me to use snapchat as well. Seriously!

Back to Chai Wala. Oh, by the way, I meant to ask how’s your khana-banane-Wali (the one who minds you place, cooks and is often called ammi by many) doing? And that man who dishes out your pocket money – that paise-wala man, who you call baba when you need something – has he been keeping well? What about that bike-wala, who drops you to college but no one raises an eyebrow, because apparently he’s your ‘bhai‘ or something. I am totally up to date with what’s going on – Labelling people according to what they can do for you is the new ‘in’ thing. And so is FOMO. And YOLO. GFY.

Talking of trends, another thing you must add to your list of publicly-acceptable-things-to-do is men objectification. It’s time they get a taste of their own medicine. Anyone with a sexy ass, bulging arms, hair styled by Tabesh Khoja or ‘kanchi’ eyes better keep an eye out for female predators. Who knows what that oppressed specie is capable of!

And we all must observe a moment of silence for Momina Mustehsan – that pretty tea boy has nipped her beauty-fame in the bud, and taken over the news. The two, equally objectified for being beautiful, can maybe share notes on their experience of insta-fame later. Just a suggestion. Over tea, of course.

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Now seriously. The name, which we now know, is Arshad Khan. He’s a hardworking man from Quetta, who also happens to be an eye-candy (like most of his family, friends and half of men in his city).  While I hold nothing against Javeria Ali, an innocent pursuer of beauty, who might have uploaded it to merely share the find with her friends and family, and boast of her superb photography skills, I am truly disappointed with the way media handled it.

Pakistan’s questionable media picked it up (I’d bet Rs.100 for Express was the first to do it), and created news to feed the sensation-hungry masses. Dark eyes turned blue, filters were unleashed and fitin’s new blue-eyed ambassador was born.

Don’t get me wrong – I am truly happy for Khan Sahb. All the more power to him. But let’s not call him chaiwala anymore. It’s only now that I realised that it’s a part of our culture and is a norm is most households to name people according to their line of work. Even if some might not call them masi, jamadaar or driver on their faces, they’d always be just that behind their backs. “Driver ko bolo gari nikale,’ said the vamp, followed by mystery-inciting music. Rings a bell?

Anyway. If we can walk away with one lesson from this blown-out-of-proportion drama, it’s to not call or label people according to their profession. Don’t do it, teach your kids not to, and politely ask your elders to stick to names as well. If you see them raising a chapal, run out of the room. Quick!

Pyaar from likhne wali larki.

About Shaheen 1027 Articles

Need coffee, romance, fashion and manicure to survive.
KHI – DXB – CGN

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