I am about to confess something – something big and embarrassing, and almost unbelievable (to myself, at least).
I love my life right now. Professionally, I am not doing much and I love it. I never thought I could feel this way, considering I was a workaholic (in my own way.
I got married a little over 3 months ago (April 13th), and N started to seriously consider relocation. He had already left Axact and I wasn’t very enthusiastic about it either. My boss had once commented, casually, that maybe N’s leaving has caused me to lose interest. At that point in time, I had vehemently denied it. In retrospect, I think he was, maybe, right. A few weeks after I had said ‘I Do’, I resigned as well. N had already moved to Dubai and I was more than half way through the process and documentation. And I had passed on the legacy to my team members already.
Then, its a blur – I got my passport, arranged for tickets and visa, blackmailed my best friend into coming over to help me pack, consoling my sister-in-law and feeling oh-so-special, sneaking to mom’s whenever possible to ‘talk’,arriving early at the airport and flying next to a juvenile…
And then seeing N. I could have cried. It was beyond amazing – seeing him exactly after a month.
Anyway, then we came to the place he had rented and we got on to making it a home (till we moved to a bigger place).
On an ordinary day, N leaves for work around 9 and comes back in the evening (a little earlier in Ramadan). That gives me at least 7-8 hours to myself. During that time, I tidy the house, apply here and there, scrutinize my resume, laze around with the books German lent me, and force myself to work on a freelance project I have (details in a bit). I never cook for lunch – it feels like such a waste of time to cook for one person only. I nibble on leftovers, fruits, cookies, munchies, yogurt, etc. When I am feeling brave, I head out to do grocery shopping. The heat makes me hate myself for stepping out, but well. I cook for dinner, which N appreciates even if it tastes like sawdust – bless his heart.
Anyway, so the point I am trying to make here is that I really don’t have any pressing engagements, and I love it. It feels like I had locked in a lot of steam in me over the last few years, and it is finally seeping out. I am learning to relax. And enjoy the blissful “nothing”. I can concentrate on my relationship with N, and that’s all that matters for now.
You never really know what happens next in life – you just don’t. And maybe that’s what makes it fun; the unpredictable nature of it.
Sending out love and relaxing waves your way. Stay blessed.