The last post, Get Buried Alive, gave you a list of super sad, tragic love songs from our neighboring country, India. Hopefully all those weepy tracks had you licking your wounds and over eating like there is no tomorrow. No? Oh crap.
Hold on – Don’t go all smiles; we have another grenade coming your way. This time, we list down tracks from the west, with similar tone and emotions. Here are the top 10 songs that will rip the strings of your heart APART. Enjoy!
01. Pink – I Don’t Believe You
It’s legitimately the only song that actually makes us cry. WE DON’T LIKE CRYING PEOPLE. WE REALLY DON’T.
02. Regina Spektor – Dance Anthem of the 80′s
Okay, this is definitely the oddest pick of them all, and we doubt it’ll make you feel anything but confusion after listening to it but for reasons we still don’t remotely understand the bridge of the song always ends up with us rolling around drunk and all sad inside. Kind of like how Nicole Scherzingerfeels when all of her singles flop.
03. Evanescence – My Immortal
Evanescence are usually majorly pretentious fucks and at least ten times as useless in terms of their musical output, but hey this song is depressing on all the right levels. Hell they even shot the video in black and white in some European town. The most concerning part is it all just works…. BRB GETTING TISSUE BOX, etc, etc.
04. Kelly Clarkson – Sober
Kelly Clarkson in all her closeted glory has never really gone all out and performed a song with such conviction that we actually believed what she was singing. So it was a bit of a nice change to have her slap that in my face and scream “BITCH PLEASE”. Kudos to you Kelly, many kudos indeed.
05. Adele – Someone Like You
I don’t think we even need to explain why Adele made an appearance here people. Not including her here would be a crime equal to letting Britney Spearsperform without a backing track.
06. Dixie Chicks – Not Ready To Make Nice
We understand that you may not like the Dixie Chicks, in fact we don’t really give a shit about them whatsoever. But for reasons we don’t quite understand people we felt the need to include this one. IT’S ALL QUITE EMOTIONAL AND SHOUTY TOWARDS THE END.
07. Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love
She may look like a horse-camel hybrid and have the personality of a brick. But when tooth comes to nail and Leona is handed a legitimately decent tune she can indeed hit a home run. Sadly everything she’s done since then has been mildly shit and totally underwhelming. A shame really considering we’re lacking in the ‘Celebrities that look like animals club’ at the moment. Loljks, Sarah Jessica Parker and Jay-Z eat your heart out.
08. Ke$ha – The Harold Song
We know what you’re thinking “what the fuck? Ke$ha? WHY? HOW?!?!! OPRAH ATE WHAT?” but no readers, we’re not mental – we promise. One listen to this song and you’ll understand just how depressing Ke$ha can be when she’s all ‘deep and authentic and shit’.
09. Beyoncé – Save The Hero
Beyoncé knows her way around a tune or two. And by that we mean she knows how to scam a writing credit like a pro. Regardless this one’s kind of sad. It’s all quite haunting really. WHO DECIDED TO MAKE THIS A DELUXE ONLY TRACK??! WE NEED TO HAVE SOME WORDS.
10. Gotye (featuring Kimbra) – Somebody That I Used To Know
“now you’re just somebody that I used to know” says Gotye (or Kimbra, we can’t quite remember) multiple times over the course of this song. At first it’s all a bit “oh wow, look at these guys, they’re so indie”. But then you realise it’s actually all quite sad and you forget about that whole indie thing. GOOD WORK EVERYONE.
WELL THAT WAS ALL QUITE SAD EVERYONE WAS IT NOT? We’ll post a happy list of tuneage in the future to counteract all the crying in the corner that has been performed tonight. Until then stay safe and try not to take candy from any person with whom you have no prior affiliation or knowing of.